Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
