we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
