I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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