I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
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