Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
