Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
He felt like a one man threesome
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
