he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.