Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too