i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
