If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.