Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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