Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.