My cat gives me a boner
Barsexuality is the new black.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.