At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants