I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I have fence marks all over my body
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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