we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
