Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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