naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
