I must be too annoying 4 u.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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