5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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