I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
