I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
