There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
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