Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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