"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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