why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Randomize
