I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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