Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
