Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize