It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
this will be a night to untag.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
