i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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