I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Semen is not good for contacts.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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