Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
