Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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