We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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