he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
