1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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