My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Why is there bacon in the couch?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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