1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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