ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
