just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I have tasted many bathrooms
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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