i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
