my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
