3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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