It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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