I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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