I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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