ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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