I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
