Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
