Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
