You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
high people should be assigned attendants
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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