it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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