Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
