my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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