i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
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I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
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There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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