My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
