Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
