I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
