I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself