im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?