I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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