they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
