I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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