Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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