all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
