she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
