I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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