worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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