You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize