physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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