I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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