Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
